My life as it is


Woke up this morning feeling exicted for our very first badminton game...if i'm not mistake its gonna be the first time i've hit a shuttlecock on cyberjaya land...erm..putrajaya to be more specific....more ppl turned up last min for da game....quite a number of gals as well....to my surprised..anyways i won't go into details our badminton session...but after the game...i noticed that many of us..MMUians...we're really physically weak and unfit..many of us were rusty as well...missing many simple shots...i'm oso quite rusty...liberally missing some easy shots as well...i'm quite glad i received training when i was young...at least i can play erm...some decent badminton i guess..Dad always wanted me to become like really good in badminton...but when i fell in love wif basketball i kinda lost interest in it...i think my dad was quite disappointed as well..he really loved badminton...i can still remember him going twice a week to sweat it out last time....but now due to knee injury my dad can't play liao...sighs...anyways...as i was saying...many of us are quite unfit...i was not really tired lar...ehehe.due to short rallys...but i'm still very unfit...and i read somewhere that an average person's health and fitness reaches his or her peak in their mid-twenties...i'm already almost there...i'm a failure to the statistics...kekeke....which reminds me that i need to buck up..quite pleased that i managed to exercise 3 times this week...i guess the motivation to doing it is not so much of slimming down..( though it is one of them)..heheh..but more of keeping myself healthy...i heard somewhere that keeping a healthy lifestyle makes it easier for us when we grow old....anyways..i really enjoyed the game...i'm quite committed to playing everyweek..had good fellowship as well...


I felt i needed to comment about this...its about our new unit....i dunno about how other ppl treat their apartments...but from observing the ppl living with me...i find that many ppl still treat apartments as hostel...its like once they enter the house they go straight to their rooms...and will only leave their rooms for the loo, or to the kitchen to get a drink....since they're living as though they're still in hostels...many public areas in the house its not of their concern..(boss if u reading this i'm not pin pointing anyone kay? hehehe)...nobody bothered to clean and tidy up the kitchen..nobody bothered to keep the empty boxes in the hall..nobody made effort to make the house a better place? why? i guess its because everyone still thinks they're staying in hostel..and only their rooms matters...i dunno why...but i feel proud having a big apartment....but what's the use of having a big apartment if one cannot make it nice? efforts must be put into to make it a nice place to stay...its quite sad sometimes how we live our lives....first thing when we come back home is to glue ourselves in front of our pcs...doesn't anyone know that we have a nice living room to hang out? we can put our chairs on the balcony and just look at the stars during the nite...and enjoy the night breeze..but...its a pity how we let computers control our lives like tat...yesterday was the clearest example....due to the installing of our unit's alarm system, they had to shut down the main power supply...as soon as all pc's are off...then magically we can see ppl doing and setting up certain chores that was supposed to be set up as early as possible....its like if the pc's weren't shut off...the chores probably won't be done at all....i didn't say anything....i already did my part way before yesterday...but i was smiling and pondering..that how we let our pcs control us so much....;)...i cleaned and set up the kitchen...bot the extra table..i cleaned the living room..sponsored to make our house a better place.....i know that some of my housemates did put in effort in making the house nicer....i'm not saying i'm the hero or watsoever..but i hope that everyone together would realise that we have a beautiful apartment....we're not living in hostels..we have so much more....why can't we just love it more?? this is the truth..if i were living somewhere here...and if i had a car..the house would be a much, much different place...i feel frustrated many times cos i want to improve our house but i don have the transport and the resources...sometimes when i pester the ppl who have this advantages to do certain stuff..i feel that i'm too bossy and they might get upset wif me....sighs..our unit's gona be a place for bible study...i pray that our unit will glorify God...I heard from the speaker from MOB camp..he said this..which stuck in my mind till now...." There are 3 types of ppl in this world, First, is the type of ppl who MAKE things happen. 2nd, is the type of ppl who HOPE things happen, 3rd, is the type of ppl who didn't know what happened at all." Which type do we wanna be?

It's Only Words


Check this out. I was just walking around at HB 3 waiting to meet up with my CG lunch..was there early..so i decided to just walk around...and i bumped into KS. ( name has been changed to for protection purposes.) This is our conversation.

Me: Hi KS!! wAh...makaning lunch ar?
KS: Yalar..if not drinking lunch isit?
Me: Ooo..ok...
Ks: WaHHHH...you getting fatter and fatter larrrr....why you so fat wan?? See..got breast liao....You know ppl getting breast cancer now u know....
Me: (wondering wether i have a breast or not) ..erm..ya...
Ks: Why u cannot stop eating wan....so fat....for goodness sake eat less larrrr....
Me: .......................
KS: Seee..you so round and cute....Seeeee...( and KS proceeds to pinch my cheek like a 4-year-old small kid.)
Me: .......................
Me: .......................
Me: (after 5 secs of speechlessness) erm...i need to go liao..c u another time ya. bye.

-end-.


Sometimes ppl don really know that their words can hurt more than any physcial injuries. i was totally taken aback and speechless by the words..coming from a person i greeted wif a warm smile during the start of the conversation....i sat somewhere nearby at hb3..but out of sight from KS. just pondering upon the words...i'm not a person easily shaken by words of other ppl..that's y i can still like forgive the person and incident..but i found out something today..this are words coming from a person who can take harsh words easily...or is it not? i'm not really sure...isit true that there is a type of ppl...whereby they can take any harsh or direct words from anyone....and THIS set of ppl are the ones making the critiscim themselves. It's because they do not understand how hurting words can be, that they themselves just "shoot" ppl left, right, centre. i know of certain ppl like tat in the CF ( ooOOOOooo)....when will they learn that sometimes their mouth can cause trouble? the sad thing is they're so numb..or should i say dumb..when ppl criticises them...they don feel a thing..mebe the skin of their face is made of steel.....that one day they might hurt a fellow brother or sister and don't even know what in the world has happen....will these ppl one day learn it the hard way? will they learn it when they really one day get hurt? or would someone else be the innocent victim for these ppl to learn that they need to guard their tongue? There are times when we need to speak. they are times when we need to listen. And there are times when we need to THINK before we let our tongue go wild.

On a lighter note, i sat down alone at the entrance of HB3 foodcourt..while waiting for my CG makan... i just spent around 15 mins observing the ppl..students hassling and rushing thru the crowd to get to their variuos destinations...its quite fun to observe and make some simple deductions...like figuring out wether a girl is staying in campus or off campus is quite easy. Generally in campus female students wear more simpler outfit, compared to off campus. Guys? erm...don think much difference. oh yeah...that day i was walking thru FOE building....no offence to any race, but i noticed that malay girls are really, dull to look at. who would be attraced to someone wif a tudung. and some of them just put on jeans and slippers and just walk around....really...whereelse chinese girls generally though simpler also, but they dress themselves more neatly....especially girls wif long, silky hair...hehehe....i'm so glad i'm chinese...kekekeke....another thing...in ETM class our lecturer awards those who sits the first 3 front rows with examples of the questions...so as usual all the really hard working guys will try to fight for the places..i was just sittng there that day when i noticed something....there was only 1 malay sitting in the front 3 rows. where are all the malays? i turned my head..there they are!! last 3 rows. just this simple act portrays their attitude towards studies. won't talk much here....scared ppl say i racists.....oh ya..as i was saying...many deductions can be made...i was looking intensely at the eyes of the ppl who just first come into the foodcourt...most of them will be a quick scan around to identify friends among them...some just don care at all..there are more girls than guyz...mebe its becos its a girl hostel foodcourt...i duno...a girl's eyes sweep faster than a guy's eyes....keen and sharp..wwhereelse guyz just try to look at wat food is offered....hahahaha.....

Learnt many things today. I had to go actstream for practice whereelse some of my fwens went to catch a movie. is that sacrifice? is that commitment? some questions in my mind lar. i hope in this one year of Delta year i manage to grow up into a more capable, and independent, more grown up young adult. some ppl around the world already has a family at my age. and i'm still drawing money from my father's pocket every month.Bot my dad a pen drive today...its for his birthday present but its a surprised. Signing off now....sleep early really helps a lot.oh ya...try to get a lil thinner ya.

Living life to the max


This is gonna be a short blog. nothing much to blog about today. my body is aching due to gymming and swimming. Taught ah harm how to swim a bit also. went for class..same ol' same ol. Sometimes there are times when i'm walking around campus when i have a lot of things to say...and how i wish those times i just can jot down my thoughts...but now they're gone forever..like the wind..hahahah....Living life to the max...i guess everyday's been like living it to the max....every single minute i have something to do..all of it revolving my priorities....oh yea..i guess now i'll blog about yesterday's CG Launching Day as well..


Superb day yesterday. Managed to get our CF's cream of the crop, elite acting people to help me in my sharing. I felt really close to all the Cg Leaders...especially when we were holding hands in a circle praying together...i really felt proud that i'm in this ministry with them...All different personalities...different people..some quiet..some loud...even some of them took up the job for different purposes..but still we're all in the same boat...I really pray that they'll manage it well....its not an easy task...I'll be praying for each one of them...i'll be supporting them in every way i can oso...tiring day today.....reallly spend 2 solid hours reading up my lab for tmr's lab....not that i so semangat...hahaha..its just now has come a time where i really wanna learn something lar....especially i keep complaining that all we do is theory...lab is the time where we do hardware stuff...so i hope i can get something.hahaha....managing Cgs is tiring...but its the most fulfiling job i've ever done so far....seeing the new ppl get into groups...seeing the CG leaders trying their best to bond wif the new ppl...suddenly i felt a sense of joy and its hard to explain...i felt happy...that i've managed to share my heart out..something which i prayed very hard from God to share....though its short...i pray that it has impacted people...

Today's like when i really sat down to study stuff...i did study some stuff last few weeks ago...but its like not for long....it really took me some time to sit down..was quite restless...but after like quite long oni i settled down...whole house was empty...so no distraction...oni the sound of ppl playing basketball...tired liao..whole body sakit sakit.....hahahaha....ciao.


Priorities or preassure?

God's Peace.


AFter using this new template, its kinda weird using "Dear Me" again. Just read the tittles on the right of this page. Every tittle is followed by " Dear Me". Sounds really pathethic.like "Oh dear me." so...thats the end of "Dear Me".


Somehow I feel like my life is quite different from the life i've lived comparing with last semester. though from the outside it doesn't look much different...i just keep feeling like its new for me...mebe of the different house..mebe of different minstry...i dunno...but somehow things look different...and yet its a kinda good sort of different..aha..i learnt something...after going without internet connection for the past 2 weeks...somehow i find myself having more time..more focus...and now that its back..hahaha...lotsa time is spent in front of this very monitor....i'm not a heavy internet user...but i dunno how come wif having internet now i feel prone to sit down more often of this pc...not a good sign..i guess i need to limit myself to how much time i wanna spent usin the internet to able to maximise my time more often.


CG Leader's Training
Cg Leader's training. should i say it was a success? or did anyone learn anything? i dont really know...not really concern about how the trainin....the thing i'm more concern is the future of the CGS...the leaders.......not much to blog abot it now.....


Ok. i know that in order for me to survive and succeed this semester....i need to remain focus in whatever i do. the only way for that is for me to list down the things that i need to pay attention to..the rest is not important. Here are my priorities for First Trimester 2004/05

1.) Love God more.
2.) CF/CG Ministry.
3.) Studies
4.) Church.(Drums)
5.) Get thinner? hahah...


I think just this 5 is probably enough to keep me busy.Been talking to some people who are struggling to move on. I've learnt something lately....it's that usually we've probably had hundreds of advice and encouragement we could ever have for a lifetime....at the end it just bores down to wether we wana take the step or not. it actually bores down to us making the choice..we can haf advice from the experts of the world but if nothing is done there is no use....if we refuse to help ourselves....because we feel self pity or watever reasons....there's no way others can help us...for me, i took the step of faith and choice almost a year ago...after going thru a tough patch of my life...i hear the word from God...i say enuff is enuff i'm not going to waste my life like this...i helped myself. Beginning part could be the hardest..but if we can get thru that stage it would be easy from there on. oh yea...DONT EVER TURN BACK. Talking to friends like this...i could identify with him that sometimes i can't go on wif life because i hold on to certain things...why do we hold on to it ? because its nice...its beautiful...its fun...sometimes if we could only look beyond our circumstances....God has more beautiful things for us...most importantly at this stage....we need to just rest in the peace of God. God's peace which passes all human logic and understanding...resting in Him. Just rest and enjoy. when all music fades..when all loudness and shouting calms down....even if storms and darkness befalls us....the only thing that stands is God's overwhelming peace. Such peace which allows us to smile at times like this....God wants us to enjoy life. Its time to smile. Its time to rejoice. Rejoice in the Lord always, and again i say rejoice. Look beyond. Friend, you know who you are. The bottom line us. Its you.

Flee from Babylon

Dear Me,


WAHHH....so long nvr blog liao...i can't even remember my last blog...worst is i din even know that blogger has a new interface as well...verrry nice, verrry impressive....and contradictory thing is here i am blogging oso because i'm sorta have nth else to do lar...heheh...waiting for boss to finish class so tat we can balik..so here i am in the com lab surfing net....which is something i can finish in like around 15 mins..then read other ppl's blog...now my turn to blog lar....

I guess this is the first time since i came back to cyberjaya for the new semester that i'm blogging..Entering into the new semester..i had a LOT of questions in my mind...many questions answered...many puzzlements....most of it centered around God Himself...one of it....or shall i say the most significant question i had on my mind was...Why did God lemme pass thru my exams...? one would say why so stupid ask God this question...if pass then don complain lar....but for me....as i came back from cyber..no offence ya to anyone reading it..I found out that it is really by no accident that i've passed thru....people who deserve to make it thru didnt...and I....i mean judging by the paper i did....was not supposed to make it thru...I became more and more curious...is there anything God want me to do ?? or what???

Anyway to put that aside for now....The new semester...my first year being a DELTA student...2 more years...I hope.. and I will be finally completing my study life...something which i've been doing since i was 7 years old...A fresh start..one would say...to me...I feel that its really afresh for me...as in....since coming back a tired, weary, burdened person from last semester....i've had enuff of rest for the holidays so much so that i could afford to sleep 5, 6 hours a day for the first few days without feeling tired at all...hahah....anyways....for me....IT's starting anew...New house, a few NEw housemates.....New semester for the CF...new work to be done....And finally...a NEw lifestyle?? back to the question from above....i was bombing God with questions...when before i knew it...i had to go MOB camp....there was an inkling in my mind that somehow one of the reasons of it was that God wants me to go to the camp...not to say that others don need...but mebe i needed it more...to find the answers to my questions.....and to admit...i went to the camp..not only reluctantly...but VERY reluctantly....

MOB CAmp
Did i finally achieve in finding my question?? My walk wif God during the holidays wasn't good...anyways...about the camp...it was an eye opener..instead of finding the answers...i found God...i've learn certain things from the camp...God's presence was really awesome....i was quite nervous and scared oso at first...seeing people being ministed to, some started laughing for like 30 mins, some started to roll on the floor and crying even untill the session when everyone has left, and some started to scream as well...it was really a scream....nothing happened to me when i was prayed for...though i was like half wanted to experience laughing non-stop...nothing actually happend within my heart for the first 3 sessions...till the last day....when the speaker spoke about things that sometimes hold you back from moving on with God..it was not a message i've not heard before...but i needed it as i sometimes hold on to somethings that prevents me from moving on with God...this is the first time i've listend to a speaker so direct, practical at the same time spiritual as well....anyways....i neede a push as well...and i was quite comfortable sitting at the back when the speaker said" This morning i want to pray ESPECIALLY for the people sitting at the back, those who hide behind the back and folding their arms hiding from their sin...." during that time i was ACTUALLY folding my arms..when the speaker said this suddenly the whole congregration turn around and started to giggle....as fast a lighting i quickly unfold my arms and wave a nervous hi to everyone...hahaha..not only me lar....anyways...we had another ministry time..this time i went straight to the front...(not that I have any choice oso...hehehe..)...and the speaker prayed for me....I also prayed to God...that He will liberate me from it...as I knelt down...I said to God that i will not get up untill He has forgiven me and set me free....my kneess were aching...and i prayed...and prayed...and prayed...I've finally understand...that one of the reasons God let me passed my exams, was that He could come and heal me, set me free and love me...thank you Jesus. For anyone reading this, find comfort that everything works for the good to those who love Him. Ps Kenneth Chin once said that we must always look beyond our circumstances....beyond what we see...i did not heed this advice....when troubles come my way i always look at my troubles and start moaning..and start complaining....to the people taking supp, you guys stronger than me in handling this situation...i really admire you guyz....and i hope that you guys don let go of God like i once did...quite a foolish thing to do...i've read this somewhere....

I believe in the air, even when I cannot see it.
I believe in God, even when there is no love.

Feeling Babylon. My devotion today, God confirmed with something which was in my heart since the starting of the semester...to flee from the old ways. a new lifestyle. Mum is worried for me academically....even when i suggested that i might wanna be a drum set mom was quite reluctant as she thinks it might hinder me from studying...Isaiah 48:17-22. God told His people that they would have peace like a river had they listened to Him...He ended by telling the people to flee the babylonians...Its time for me to start afresh. One of my weakness is talking a lot and acting none. haha...so i won't talk so much here...I will once again meet up wif "old challenges" this semester...exams and troubles will once again be part of my life...how do i survive this semesteR? listening to God....and i will have peace like a river.

To Wee Liem and Leona,
A broken spirit, and a contrite heart,
He will not despise.

Akward Moments

Dear Me,

I've decided to jot down things that i've gone thru in point form..and my thoughts in erm..normal form lar.

ok..few things went thru at home...this are a few

1.) I think i'll need to change my hairdresser...went to have my hair cut and when i walked in....i saw 3 old aunties waiting go get their hair done...oh....alrite...cool..i tot....10 mins later...in walked another old auntie...and they seem to be good fwens with the hairdresser...all they talked abt were rumours of other ppl....abt their bro or sis-in-law....and even their grandchildren...okayyy...i tot...when the next customer came in.....who happended to be a grandpa and his 3 ,4 year old grandson....coming to get a hair cut....i dunno why but my hair dresser chose to attend to the oldies first....and when the grandson had his haircut he wriggled and squeeled and cried till he peed in his pants....i sat there..feeling completely akward....me suroundded by grannies...crap...

2.) Help dad cut grass yesterday.....not staying cyber and coming home is not a bad idea cos i get to contribute to the familiy.....help my parents do house chores and especially in fetching my bro n sis around...and eating a lot....hahaha....cutting grass wif my dad was good cos i get to joke wif my dad and chat wif him while both of us cut and rake the grass togther....i don often get to chat so closely wif my dad cos he's not so much of a talker...so i was quite glad n happy wif tat time together..usually its like this wif my dad...either washing the car or cutting grass lar....yeah..

3.) hhm..wat else.....joined care group yeterday..my church's wan..my dad's the CG leader..learned a lot...hhhmm.....in hot conversation wif su chen again...can't blog much again....blog later byes....oh yeah..
wait..