Living it Out.
 
 
                       Controversial and mind provoking thoughts clouded my mind the whole day. Questions taunted my mind as I fervently asked the Lord for answers. Ministries, studies, friends, relationships, walking with the Lord, these are just to name a few.
 
                       As i sat down and talked to the Lord this morning, i felt a hunger for an experience with the most High. Recent weeks, the Lord has been putting this thought in my mind. Through worship sessions, through sermons, and most recently, using something which i never thought i would see as an example, my younger brother. God was challenging me for something, the question is this: " Have I been a fruitful christian, living a life that is impacting others? What legacy do I wanna leave behind when I leave a campus life? Do I wanna leave with lives touched? Do I wanna leave as people remembering you as Christlike? Do people see Christ in me?"
                         As i sat down pondering this thoughts, a sense of regret and disappointment crept over my mind, as i knew that i'm not even a fraction to what God expected me to be. i know that now is the time for a change. i have no more time for selfish and childish actions and thoughts. and yet, saying it is so much more easier than doing it. Looking around my circle of friends, all i could see is frustration, disappointment, struggles and so on. they put on bold faces, masking their troubles so well. we talk about Friendship series. i need to walk the talk.
 
                           As i talked to a friend after CF meeting, tears of anxiety and frustration streamed down her cheeks, due to her course assignments. oh Lord, how do i comfort a troubled soul? i prayed that the Holy Spirit will come to still troubled waters, and to instill peace to her situation. frustration turned to become my enemy, as i could not think of any ideas to help sooth the pain and anger. i believe that she is not the only one going through trying times, and these are the times when they needed friends the most.
 
                            So many more, so much more thoughts flooded my mind. i noticed that studying in a university, it is tempting that students fall into either situations. Either we let Ministry choke our studies, or we let Studies choke Ministry. That's why some don't attend CF or CG. so how do we face the situation?  i do not really know.
 
                            It is time for me to take my leave. I read in a book today, that for me to grow spiritually i need to commit my time and effort in it. I've decided to do it today. Lord, help me to be an impact to the people around me. Make me a tool to bless others, and bring them closer to you. I wanna leave a legacy of Jesus, a Jesus legacy.

11.43pm

Disappointment and heaviness overwhelms my soul. It’s funny why God created humans with feelings. As I speak now, fatigue has taken over my body, making me vulnerable to sleep and incapable of completing tasks.
Midterms always bring mix feelings. First, you get a feeling of relief from the pressures of the first half of the semester. You go home, eat good, healthy food prepared with love by your family. You cuddle in the comfort and security of your cozy home. Far from troubles, away from fears and unwanted pressures. At the same time, at the back of your mind, comes an inkling feeling that the world would not be so kind on you once you get back to reality. For engineering students, and probably generally most students, midterms mark the start of a hard, difficult 2nd half semester. Having gone through this experience for the last 3 years I’ve been here, I had been preparing myself for the onslaught that’s heading my way no matter how I try to avoid it. It’s here now. The pressures of a student life slowly piles itself again. I find myself slowly hating the things that will take away my study time. More shockingly, sometimes these things are good things. Caring for people, loving one another, takes time and effort. I read from somewhere, our time is our most precious asset. How true it is! To give someone your time, it will mean to give someone a piece of yourself, something which we treasure oh so preciously. Am I to forgo this noble task to fulfill my selfish ambitions? Or am I to forsake my identity as a student, and be a saint in my campus? An obvious answer to be to juggle these two. Yet rarely nowadays do we get to see people successfully achieving this feat. Examples are becoming so rare that could this be one day a myth?
Blogging will end now as previous hanging of my pc has cut off my train of thought.

Cheerios.